


It Doesn't Mean I Don't Love You

by SimpleSourWolf



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bottom Stiles Stilinski, Character Death, Frontotemporal Dementia, Hurt Stiles, M/M, Pack Feels, Sad, Sad Derek, Sickness, Top Derek Hale, You Have Been Warned, im sorry, might make you cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-03 08:18:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1737731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimpleSourWolf/pseuds/SimpleSourWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are no werewolves, nothing supernatural has ever happened in Beacon Hills. Stiles Stilinski is 17 years old, his boyfriend is Derek Hale, the creepy stalker looking guy who stays in his loft unless he’s with stiles. Stiles finds out he has frontotemporal dementia and shit goes down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. something isn't right

**Author's Note:**

> I seen this youtube, mini sterek movie thing and it made me cry...I wanted to write a fan fiction like it....

“D?” Stiles calls as he walks into the loft, throwing his keys down on the counter, “I’m home, and tired and you promised you’d give me a massage today!”

There’s no answer and he mumbles something along the lines of _he always fucking does this, lucky I love the little shit._ He plops down on the couch and flicks on the TV that Stiles made him buy. Hey, if he was gonna be over here everyday, there had to be something to do.

He checked the time, wondering what Derek could possibly be doing with his life that doesn’t involve being at home. He snickered at the thought of Derek being forced by Laura to go out shopping. His eyes began to drift shut, the effects of his day plus the amount of sleep he’d lost due to nightmares catching up to him. He tried to to fight the drowsiness, knowing that when he fell asleep he’d be thrown into another nightmare.

And that’s exactly what he did.

_He dreamed he was getting ready for bed, throwing on a sleep shirt and his checkered pajama bottoms. He ran his hand through his hair once or twice, before heading over to his bed._

_In the dream, he had a mother, a father and a little baby brother. His parents room just across the hall, and the babys room just across from that. He laid down in his bed, pulling the sheets up to his chin and shut the light off before closing his eyes. He began to think of happy things, of Derek, of his friends, of his dad, of the plans they had for the summer. Derek had, promised to take him to New York one day, to show him anything he wanted._

_He heard his window slide open, now a days that was normal. He assumed that Derek was just crawling in to say good night and wish him sweet dreams, like he usually did. But Stiles wanted to see him, wanted to talk to him for a bit before bed. However, when he went to open his eyes, a voice, like claws being scraped across a blackboard spot._

_“Don’t open your eyes, if you value your life.” It spoke. Stiles felt fear spread through his body, shivers racing down his spine, “Listen closely boy. You will not open your eyes, if you do, all hell will break lose, and we will kill you. Do you understand?”_

_Stiles nodded shakily, not daring to move or even make a sound._

_“Good.” The voice spoke. Footsteps led away from his bed and out of his room. He laid there for what seemed like hours, but could of only been minutes or even seconds. As time ticked by, nothing happened, the house was quiet except for the hum of the fridge downstairs. He figured it was jump a nightmare and that he’d woken up from it. That there was no reason that he couldn't open his eyes._

_Big mistake._

_Piercing, blood curdling screams erupted from the house. He snapped his eyes shut immediately, hoping to stop them. It didn't work. The screams grew louder and louder, higher and higher until he had to cover his ears. However, he kept his eyes shut in fear of what he might of see._

_He heard his parents scream, a gun shot, more screaming. But it didn't stop. He was stuck, rooted to his bed in fear. He wished to wake up. That it’d all just be a dream. The screams died down, and the house was covered in silence again. Like nothing ever happened._

_He cautiously opened an eye, nothing happened. But sight, was just as bad. Blood covered the walls and the floor. Small, bloody foot prints lead out of his room and into the hallway._

_His parents._

_He shot out of his bed and ran across the hall, and stopped. A shaky habd covered his mouth. This room was worse. Blood covered walls and floors. Sheets, pillows, blankets, windows, mirrors. His mom lay on the ground, her head laying a few feet from her body. His dad, laying half on the bed, half off. His gun just out of reach from him. Slashes covered his body._

_He remembered his baby brother just across the hall and there was hope, that maybe, they hadn't touched him. His door, still closed. He opened it cautiously. The room, was too, covered in blood as well. The once baby blue walls now a sickening crimson. Stiles looked into the rib, and breathed a sigh of relief, seeing that the baby, while still covered in blood, appeared unharmed._

_The small infant opened its eyes and smiled at its big brother. Demanding that it should be held. Stiles picked him up, cooing that everything would be okay. But it’s eyes turned black and its mouth split into a sickening, yellow, sharp toothed  grin._

_“You shouldn't have opened your eyes.”_

_He screamed._

"Hey, I got you. Just wake up. C’mon Stiles. Wake up. Wake up!”

Stiles lashed out, trying to get away from whatever was holding him, “No!” He screamed, “Let me go! Please!”

“Stiles, shhhh. It’s me. You’re okay. You’re okay.” The voice said.

Stiles whimpered, trying to place to voice to a face. The soft, soothing sounds calmed his heart rate and he looked up, seeing Derek’s concerned gaze.

“You’re okay.” He soothed, running his hands through the boys hair.

Stiles let out a breath, slumping back against Derek’s chest. “You’re home.” He said breathlessly.

Derek nodded, “I could hear you screaming from outside the door.” He said, “Bad dream?”

Stiles nodded, “The worst.”

"Wanna talk about it?” Derek asked.

Stiles shook his head, “What I want, is my damn massage.” He grinned up.

Derek grinned and shook his head, kissing Stiles’ temple lovingly, “To the bedroom then.”

Stiles practically jumped up and ran to the bedroom. He’d been looking forward to this all day, his shoulders were tense and his back had knots in it.  A long day at school complete with being tackled multiple times at lacrosse practice.

He threw off his clothes, wrapping his lower body in a towel and practically jumping on the bed. He giggled with excitement as Derek walked in the room. Derek promised that one day stiles would get a massage and when he said that he'd do it today, stiles nearly screamed with excitement. He'd heard that the man had magical hands.

He relaxed the second that Derek's hands touched the skin of his shoulders, "you're so tense." He commented softly.

Stiles nodded, closing his eyes, "well you know, nightmares, schools me lacrosse practice does that to you." He mumbled softly, nuzzling his cheek into the soft pillow.

"More nightmares huh?"

Stiles nodded, "for about a week straight now." He sighed, feeling a knot come undone already.

"Anything else I should know about?" Derek asked.

"Anxiety. A lot of it. I can't sleep. Um...I'm...I think I'm starting to hallucinate too." Stiles said hesitantly, "nothing major. Just...words floating off of the pages and stuff."

"Maybe you should go get it checked out." Derek said, his voice laced with concerned, "it sounds serious."

Stiles shrugged, shivering as Derek's hands went lower and lower, "I'm sure it's nothing a few sleeping pills can't cure. I'll be fine." He whimpered softly, "but god, please don't stop."

Derek chuckled, recognizing the hint of neediness in his boyfriends voice, "and what if I do?"

"I might have to kill you." Stiles said in a breathy voice as Derek began to kiss his shoulders and down his back, sending shivers down his spine and all blood rushing south, "asshole."

Derek smirked against his back, "something wrong, stiles?"

Stiles shook his head, "just...please?" He asked the unspoken question.

"You're not ready."

Stiles huffed, "at least....touch? Please?"

Derek nodded, placing his fingers at the top of the towel that was hiding the boys gorgeous ass, "I love you."

"Mmmm, love you too der." Stiles mumbled back.


	2. This can't be hppening

He did take the sleeping pills, which resulted in more nightmares.  He took more, and the result was no different. So he stopped. But Derek didn't know. He couldn't, he freak out if he found out that Stiles wasn't getting any better.

Needless to say, things weren't getting any better. In fact, they were getting worse.  He found himself not talking, or acting different, even around Derek. He didn't want to leave the house. Ever.  He ate practically everything Derek bought or almost nothing.

His behavior was off. Way off. Some days. he’ be himself., but other days, he’d be a whole different person. Crabby, bitchy, mean and just down right nasty. Today though, he was just sad.

“Stiles?” Derek asked as he walked into the house, he was greeted almost immediately by the smaller man running into his arms, tears streaming down his face, “Hey, what's wrong?”

Stiles shrugged and whined, burying his face into Dereks shirt. Derek wrapped his arms around his for a moment or two, just letting the smaller man hug him, “You’re not gonna move are you?” He asked.

Stiles shook his head, wrapping his arms tighter around Dereks neck as the older man  picked him up and moved him to the bed, letting Stiles cuddle the shit out of him. They laid there for what felt like hours, tears still streaming down Stiles’ face, his breaths coming in hiccups and soft sobs.

“You gonna talk to me or what?” Derek asked gently, rubbing the boys back.

Stiles stayed silent for awhile longer, gathering his thoughts together, “I’m just so sad. “ He started, “And I don't even  know why, I just feel....like nothing’s okay. I’ve been so different. It’s...it’s like i'm PMSing or something.” he hesitated, and Derek knew, that something was wrong.

“What is it?” he asked, “Stiles...what’s wrong.” He said urgently when the boy didn't respond.

“I....I think I need to go get checked for...something. I already made an appointment..” the younger man said quietly.

“Do you know what you’re looking for?” Derek asked, “How do you know that something's wrong?”

Stiles closed his eyes and took a breath, “This is what I remember my mom going through.”

Derek froze. He remembered the day Stiles opened up to him about his mom. How he'd cried and said how hard it was to see her like that. He stared into the pools of whiskey brown that stared up at him sadly, “I.....” Derek started, “Are you sure? I mean...You...I...” He couldn't get anything out, the thought alone of Stiles having to go through that-

“Der? Hey, no. Don't start with the tears on me. I don’t know for sure..”Stiles sat up quickly, sitting on top of Derek and cupping his face, “We don’t know for sure. It probably isn't even that, I’m probably just...super tired or getting a bad flu or something. It’ll be okay.” He leaned down, kissing his face over and over.

Derek nodded, holding Stiles against him, “When’s your appointment?”

“Tomorrow at 10.” Stiles mumbled, “Will you come with me?”

“Of course I will.” Derek said softly, kissing the top of the younger mans head softly, “I wouldn’t let you go do that alone.”

“Promise?”

Derek looked at him,”Stiles. I wouldn't leave you for the world.”

Stiles nodded, “I know..it’s just that...my dad....when my mom was sick..he kind of...left..for a few days. I was there when she died...but he wasn't.”

Derek sighed, pulling him closer again, “I’d never leave you like that. I promise.”

Stiles mumbled something against Derek's chest, closing his eyes lightly, feeling the lack of sleep catch up to him, he shook his head trying to stay awake.

“Sleep, Stiles. I’m right here, nothing’s going to happen to you.” Derek soothed, feeling his body tense against him.

Stiles nodded, letting his body slip into a deep sleep. Derek watched him carefully, waiting for the first signs of a nightmare to flash across the boys face.

He sighed to himself, what would he do if stiles was  actually sick? Or worse..dying?

~~~~

The ride to the hospital was silent, both men knew what could happen, they didn't have to discuss it. Stiles fought to keep his eyes open int he car, nightmares had kept him up all night once again. He couldn't shake the feeling that something had was going to happen. He felt it. Something was wrong.

When Derek parked the car in the parking lot, they sat in silence for a few moments, staring at each other.

"Are you sure you want to?" Derek asked, "we could wait a bit longer, if you want."

Stiles shook his head, taking a breath, "No. If I don't do this now, I'll never do it. I have to." He looked over at his boyfriend, forcing a smile at him, "ready?"

Derek nodded. He and stiles got out of the car and they walked into the hospital, their hands sliding into a hold automatically as they waited. Derek could tell that stiles was on edge, he was sleep deprived and ready to burst. Just  little more pressure..and he's be down. He rubbed their thumbs together lightly, an unspoken signal of comfort to the other.

"Stilinski?" The nurse asked and stiles stood up, he followed the nurse into the room, throwing one last sad smile over to Derek.

When he was out of sight, Derek put his head in his hands. He knew that this wouldn't end right. Nothing ever did.

"What's he getting checked for?" A voice asked.

He looked up, seeing Melissa mccall standing there, looking concerned, "frontotemporal dementia." He said softly, looking back down.

He heard her gasp softly, when he looked back up, she had tears swimming in her eyes, she took his hand and led him into the room where stiles was siting to do his MRI. He waved sadly over to where Derek was, Derek returned a soft smile.

"He'll be okay Derek." Melissa said, rubbing his arm In a comforting way, "you can go in and see him for a little, but then you have to be out in the waiting room.

Derek nodded, going Into the white room where stiles was sitting on the MRI bed, staring at the floor. Derek walked closer to the boy, his hands going for the skinny waist, their foreheads pressing together as stiles tried to keep it together.

"Let it out, stiles." Derek whispered, kissing his nose gently.

Tears fell down the smooth, soft cheeks in front of his, stiles' arms wrapping around Derek's neck as he buried his head in the crook of his neck, his breath hitching with every silent sob he let out. They stood there, Derek rubbing stiles back comfortingly, for what felt like hours, before stiles spoke.

"I'm scared, Derek." He spoke, his words muffled, "I'm so fucking scared."

Derek wrapped his arms tighter around him, "I know stiles...me too." He confessed, "I'm scared to."

"What are we gonna do?" Stiles asked, pulling away and look up at the man he loved, "what am I supposed to do? I...how am I supposed to even...what if..." His eyes filled up with tears again, spilling down his cheeks as maintained eye contact.

"We'll get through this. One way or another. We'll do it."  Derek said. Stiles nodded, pressing a kiss to Derek's mouth, their lips tasting of tears, "I promise."

When Derek was told he had to go back into the waiting room, they shared one final kiss before he left, going back to worry in the waiting room. Melissa staying with him the whole Time. But he was left alone with his thoughts. What if stiles was sick? What would he do? How would he get through it? Could he survive it? They talked about their future all the time, what would happen to that? How long would he have? All these questions circled in his mind, making him more and more worried as the time passed. His knee bounced nervously, his palms were sweaty and he was fidgeting, much to the annoyance of everyone else in the room. But he didn't care. He wanted a long, happy life with stiles, but would he even still get that?

"Derek hale?"

He looked up to see the nurse, she wore an unreadable expression, "stiles is finished, you may see him now."

She barely got passes "finished" as Derek's as already up and practically running to the room where stiles was dressed in his own clothes, his face still tear stained. Derek wrapped him in a hug, muttering that it'd be okay. Melissa came in the room as well, running stiles back as they waited for the doctor to come back.

"Alright stiles. I have...news for you." He spoke, looking down at his clipboards.

Derek squeezed stiles' hand gently, panic rising in his chest as he seen the look in the doctors eyes.

"What is it?" Stiles whispered, so quiet he could barely be heard.

"You have frontotemporal dementia, but, it's still in its early stages, you still have what seems to look like nearly 3 or 4 years to live. I'm sorry."

Everything froze. Time seemed to slow down as Derek turned to stiles, watching as tears slid down his cheeks, as he shut everyone else out. It hit him hard, he was dying. And not like everyone else, he was dying. He had limited time, nothing could stop it, incurable. Stiles faintly heard someone trying to get him to talk. But the only thing he could hear was that he had dementia. Like his mother.

When he came back to his senses he was in Derek's arms, sobbing harder than he's ever sobbed before, he was aware of his lips moving, but he had no control over them.

"I don't wanna die. I don't. I..I'm too young. I can't. Don't want to." He sobbed into Derek's shoulder.

"I know stiles. I know." Derek said softly, his own voice laced with tears and fear, "I don't want you to either."

After a few more minutes of that, Melissa spoke, "take him home Derek. He needs rest."

Derek nodded, maneuvering the smaller man so that they were walking towards the car, all the while stiles was still shaking his head and sobbing.

"I want to go see my dad." He wailed when they were in the car, "I need to."

"Stiles. I think we should do that when you are thinking pro-"

"NOW!" He screamed, "I want to see him now. It can't wait. Just...go!" He brought his knees to his chest, screaming into  them.

"Ok. Ok we can go." Derek said after a moment of staring at the boy in shock. He never yelled like that. Ever.

~~~~

"Dad." Stiles cried into the sheriff's uniform.

"Stiles?" His dad asked, shocked, "wha...what are you doing? What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry dad. I'm so, so sorry. I shouldn't of lied to you, that fight was my fault. I miss you and I'm so, so sorry. I wish it never happened. I love you. I need you. And I'm not ready to...I'm not...i.." He broke into a sob again.

It's true. Stiles lied to his father one too many times. They fought, stiles ran away. Vowing that he'd never want to see him again. Stiles ran to Derek, saying how much he hated him and that he couldn't live there anymore.

The sheriff looked up at Derek, concerned and confused as to why both men were crying, "it's okay stiles. It okay. But what aren't you ready for?" He asked, "what's wrong?"

By now, stiles couldn't do anything but sob. He felt like his lungs were going to burst from the lack of air. His face was soaked in tears and he didn't even want to think about what he looked like. He just shook his head, and looked to Derek, silently asking the man to explain. And so he did. He explained everything, right from when stiles began having nightmares and losing sleep, until just now. Where stiles was dying.

"He has maybe 4 years at most." His voice cracking.

"Stiles." Sheriff whispered, "no...no no no. Not you too." He croaked, hugging his son tighter.

Derek watched for a moment, father and son who haven't spoken in months, crying together because something was going to separate them for good. He met eyes with the sherif, nodding at one another before Derek backed out of the room, given them their space.

From the living room, he could hear the sobs of his boyfriend, the took him apart. Wrenched his heart straight from his chest. He wondered yet again, how this could happen to them. Them of all people. They didn't deserve it, lord knows that.  He knew it was going to be hard on them, until they accepted it, until they began to take advantage of the time they have left. I need him, he thought to himself, he's my other half. I can't love without him. _This can't be happening_.

_This can't be happening._

 


	3. Forgetting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pretty much just sex

That's exactly what everyone else said. Said it was a dream, that they'd all wake up soon enough. Said it wasn't real. It'd been months since they got the news, and stiles had been in Derek's bed for the first few weeks, until things started to get back to normal. They continued on with their lives as if Stiles wasn’t dying. As if his body wasn’t a ticking time bomb. Stiles stopped having nightmares and he felt...almost normal again. If it wasn’t for his monthly check ups, he would swear that he was 100% fine. But they both knew that he wasn’t. Some nights, he still broke down, cried into Derek’s shoulder like it was the only thing he knew how to do.

 

Today marked the 5 month since they found out. The doctors said the dementia was spreading faster than they thought. It looked like he only had maybe 2 years now, maybe less considering that some of Stiles’ memory was fading already.

 

Stiles drove home with one thing on his mind.

 

Derek.

 

He wanted the older man, couldn’t wait any longer. He was dying, dammit. He was not dying a virgin. No way. He still had so many kinks to try out, so many things he wanted to do. And the more he thought about them, the hornier he got.

 

He had only been in the house seconds before he was shoving Derek’s laptop off of his lap, replacing it with himself before kissing Derek hungrily. The older man grunted in surprise before going with it,forgetting about his laptop and putting his hands on Stiles` slim waist.

 

“Hello to you too..” He breathed in between kisses.

 

“Want you so much, can’t wait anymore Der...” Stiles said in a lust filled whisper, “Need you to fuck me.”

 

Derek growled at the words, “I still don’t think you’re-”

 

“Im ready,” Stiles whined, grinding down on the older man, “Im sosososososo ready. I’ve been ready for months just please.” He begged, tugging on Derek’s ear lobe eagerly.

 

“A-are you sure?” Derek stuttered, holding on desperately to the little control that he had left.

 

“What part of please don`t you understand?” Stiles growled , leaning down to attack the older mans mouth with one purpose only.

 

Derek let his control slip away, all reason to wait any longer fell away the second Stiles kissed him hungrily. He forgot and lost himself in the young boy who was currently in his lap, holding onto him like he was the last thing he’d ever do. He forgot about their problems and how Stiles was practically a walking time bomb. They stopped talking, didn’t need to words to describe to passion they felt as they kissed, to know what the other was thinking.

 

Stiles craved what the older man had to offer, his cock already hard and straining at the fly of his jeans. He was whimpering and whining against the older mans lips, grinding down desperately. He was already so turned on that he didn’t even realize when Derek picked him up and brought him into their bedroom, tugging off his plaid flannel and the graphic tee underneath it and laying him down on the bed.

 

Stiles nearly came right then and there when Derek began palming the bulge in his jeans and sucking on his right nipple. He keened and whimpered loudly, feeling his cock twitch harshly in his jeans, leaking pre-cum into his boxers-briefs. Derek grinned, biting down on the now erect pink nub, making his boy writhe against the bed.

 

“Derek, please.” Stiles panted, Dereks hand still rubbing against his clothed cock, “I-I can’t...m’not gunna last...” He whimpered.

 

“Close already Stiles?” Derek taunted with a smug smirk.

 

“Asshole.” he groaned, tossing his head back, gasping when Derek squeezed, sending another shock of pleasure racing up and down his spine and to his groin, “Fuck, Derek, I’m gonna cum in my pants if you keep doing that.”

 

“Maybe I want you too..” Derek growled, licking a line up stiles’ toned body, squeezing his crotch again.

 

“Fuck fuck fuck!!” Stiles chanted, arching up into the touch as he felt himself reaching the edge, “Shit, Derek...please fuck-” He broke off with a gasp, his eyes rolling back and his body arching further as Derek bit hard on his left nipple. He nearly screamed at the intensity of the orgasm the older man gave him, whimpering as the after-shocks hit him wave after wave, “Me...” He finished in a pant, his face red with humiliation.

 

Only then did Derek take off Stiles pants and underwear, licking up the mess he made against his perfectly white, mole dotted skin. Stiles whimpered as he watched, his cock twitch again in interest, “You’ll be the death of me.."

 

Derek smirked again, removing the rest of his clothes as well before grabbing the lube and spreading some onto his fingers, “Ready?”

 

Stiles nodded, his whiskey eyes closing in bliss as one of Derek’s thick fingers pushed inside him. He bit his lip, muffling a whimper of pleasure. They’d gone this far, one finger before Stiles lost it and began to beg for release. But not this time, this time, he was begging for something bigger.  

 

Derek took his time, making sure that the boy was stretched enough. By the time Stiles had three fingers up his ass, he was practically sobbing for it, his cock hard, red and weeping against the milky colour of his mole dotted skin, “One more, baby. One more and you can have me.” Derek coed, rubbing the inside of his lovers thigh gently.

 

“Please.” Stiles whimpered, his whole body shaking and quivering in pleasure. His eyes rolled back and his body arched as Derek inserted his pinky finger, stretching his asshole tighter and making it burn so deliciously, “Oh fuck, Der...I...I’m gunna cum again...shit, so fucking good.”

 

“Think I can make you cum three times tonight?” Derek asked is a lust filled whisper against the boys ear, nipping on it gently as Stiles whined so beautifully, “Hmmm, you want that huh? Want me to make you cum three times in one night, make you so sensitive that you’re screaming at the slightest touches.”

 

Thats all it took, the sound of Dereks raspy voice in his ear and one more push against his prostate and Stiles was cumming again. His load shooting up his chest and chin as he moaned and whimpered as his climax passed through him.

 

As he calmed down, Derek spent the time lubing up his own cock, watching as Stiles lay there, gasping for breath, his body still shaking with aftershocks, “Think you can take it tonight? We can wait.” Derek reminded when Stiles tried touching his cock again, only to flinch away from how sensitive it was.

 

“Don’t you dare stop now.”Stiles growled, pulling Dereks hips closer to his, “Fuck. Me. Now.”

 

And so he did. Derek thrust inside with one push, sinking all the way to the hilt, both of them moaning out. A small smile spread across Stiles’ face in the bliss of finally having Dereks cock inside him, “Yess...” He hissed, his eyes closing again.

 

“Fuck Stiles, so tight..” Derek grunted, hanging his head as he panted, the heat of his boyfriend overwhelming him. He waited a moment or two, until Stiles nodded his head, signaling that Derek could move.

 

They lost themselves. Lost in each other and in the pleasure, everything disappeared. Their problems vanished, along with every other care or worry they had in the beginning. The only thing that mattered was each other. Derek loved how Stiles’ cheeks were flushed, how his hands reached out to the blankets, twisting them in his hands as he let out little moans of pleasure. Sparks flowed through their bodies, feeling the intimacy of the slow, passionate thrusts.

 

“Derek..” Stiles whimpered when Dereks slow thrusts weren't cutting it anymore, “C’mon, baby. I need more. I need..”

 

“What do you need?” Derek asked through pants and gasps,”Tell me stiles, what do you need.”

 

“I need harder...faster.” Stiles begged, opening his eyes to look into Dereks, “Make it a night that I won’t forget, that I’ll feel forever.”

 

Derek didn’t need him to clarify, they both knew that stiles’ memory was already fading. He gave the smaller man exactly what he wanted, pulling back, almost all the way out, before pushing back in roughly. He repeated the motion, loving the sounds that Stiles was letting out.  

 

“Shit! Yes, Derek yess.” Stiles moaned, his body arching and squirming in pleasure, “Just...fuck...Just like that..”

 

Derek's eyes couldn’t look away from Stiles’ face. He couldn’t get over how beautiful he was, even when he was being taken apart. They both knew that Stiles only had so much time left, they didn’t know how much time they had left, or how many nights they had left together. Both men seemed to be thinking the same thing as tears leaked into their eyes, fighting to slip down their cheeks as their lips crashed together.

 

Stiles ran his hands through derek's hair, pulling on strands of it tightly as he moaned and whimpered into his lovers mouth. They kissed and they kissed, only breaking away when Derek’s thrusts became more erratic, both of them reaching the point of no return. Their foreheads rested together, eyes boring into each other as they panted. Stiles’ whimpers began to get more breathy and higher, signaling that he was close again.

 

“I love you..Stiles...” Derek whimpered burying his head in the other man's neck.

 

“I love you t-too Der..” Stiles whimpered, “Der...Derek, look at me.” He begged, pulling his head up to meet his eyes, “Watch..” He pleaded.

 

Derek nodded, watching as Stiles fell apart, losing himself in his pleasure. More moans and high breathy whimpering filled the air, “Fuck..Derek, i'm gunna..M’gunna..” He threw his head back, body arching as Derek thrust in hard one last time before finding his own orgasm. The feeling of derek shooting his load inside of him is what pushed him over the edge. He locked eyes with Derek as his orgasm tore through his body, his mouth open in a silent scream.

 

They both broke once they came down from their high. Tears falling as they kissed, more passionate than any kiss they’d shared before.

 

“Don’t leave me.” Derek whimpered between kissed, “Please don’t leave me.”

 

Stiles shook his head, sobs tore through his body, “I don’t want to..” He cried.

 

They held each other that night. Clung onto each other like it was the last thing they’d ever do. they fell asleep like that, tears still running down their face and limbs tangled together.

 

~~~~~~

 

Derek awoke the next morning before Stiles. He got dressed quickly, packing a few outfits in a small suitcase and grabbing the keys to his camero. He wrote a note for stiles, setting it on his pillow.

 

The pressure had gotten to him. He cracked. He needed some time from the other man, just a few days. A few days to catch his breath and then he’d back. Stiles would understand..he always did...right?

 

~~~~~~

 

When Stile woke up, he read that note on the pillow next to him.

 

My dearest Stiles,

 

Last night, was the best night we shared. But I couldn’t bare the thought of you waking up this morning and not remembering it. I’ll only be gone a few days, I just need some time and I might not want to see you right now.

 

That doesn’t mean I don’t love you, okay?

 

You’ll always be mine. No matter what. See you soon.

Derek.

 

He scrunched his brow in confusion.What happened last night?

  
And who in the holy hell is Derek?


	4. Time for goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dreadful day has come...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long!! I promise it wont be that bad next time :)  
> anyways, enjoy having your heart wrenched out.

He read the note, again and again. Trying to make sense of it. Something happened last night, and this Derek guy had left because he knew that stiles wouldn't remember it in the morning. He'd be back in a few days though? And apparently, he loves him?

He was pulled out of his thoughts from the ringing of his phone, or what he though was his phone. The screen read "Mama Mccall".

He answered it hesitantly, "hello?"

"Hey Stiles, it's Melissa, how are you today?" A women's voice said.

His eyebrows drew together in confusion, "um..good? I guess." Who was this women?

There was a pause on the other end, "Stiles, where's Derek?" The women, (Melissa?), asked.

"I..I don't know, I don't even know who he is." He said honestly.

"Crap." She cursed, "okay, stiles, stay right where you are, I'll be there soon."

"But I don't even know who you are!" He exclaimed, "how do you know where I live?"

"Just trust me, stiles. I'll explain everything later." And with that, the lady hung up. Leaving stiles alone and possible even more confused than before. So he waited, reading the strange note over and over again. Until two people bust through the door.a man and a women.

"Stiles?!" A man said, he recognized him.

"Dad?" He guessed, it seemed right to him.

"Stiles, where's Derek?" The man asked.

"I don't know who you're talking about!" Stiles exclaimed, "I don't know who Derek is and I don't know where he is or where he went but if he loves me then why did he leave?!" He had so many questions. Who was Derek? What did they have? What happened last night? Why did he feel broken because of the fact he left? There was an ache in his heart whenever they mentioned this Derek guy and he wanted to know why.

"Ill try to call him." The lady said, taking out her phone.

"Melissa said there was a note?" His dad asked.

Stiles nodded and handed him the note. He hung his head and twiddled his thumbs, trying to fight back tears. He was so confused and hurt.

"Dad...what's happening?" He asked shakily.

The older man sighed and put a hand on his back, "we'll explain later but we should get you to the hospital." He smiled a sad smile.

"The hospital? Why?! What's wrong with me?" Stiles asked, jerking away from his fathers touch, "I want answers!"

"And you'll get them, but right now you need to come with me." He said, giving the boy a stern look before turning and walking out of the house

Stiles sighed and followed him, if this was how he'd get answers, than so be it.

~~~

Derek stared down at his phone as it rang for what seemed like the millionth time. The first few messages seemed normal  Melissa was pissed that he'd left stiles alone after their special night. That's as normal and he was expecting it. But what he wasn't expecting was the next call while he was getting in the camaro to leave town for a few.

_Derek. Answer your damn phone. Stiles needs you. This is more than you leaving him and if he was....okay, than he'd forgive you. But he's not okay. He doesn't remember last night and he doesn't remember who you are. How can he forgive you if he doesn't know who you are. His dementia is spreading fast and he may only have days. Get your ass to the hospital. NOW._

The phone call dropped, much like Derek’s heart did at the news. He felt his world crumble around him. Days? That couldn't be possible. They had only found out months ago, no way could he only have days already. He legs gave out from under with him as he slid to the ground, tears blurring his vision and panic filling his body.

He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there, tears slipping down his cheeks as he stared, frozen in panic at his phone, when a man came up to him.

"sir? Are you okay?" The man said.

Derek shook his head, "days...he only has days.." He said to himself.

This only confused the man future, "what? Who only has days? Do you need medical attention or are you-"

"I need to see him. Need to get to the hospital." Derek murmured pushing the guys away from him and getting in the car. As he drove away he heard the man yelling at him, telling him it wasn't safe to drive, that a storm was coming. But he didn't care, he had to get to stiles.

He couldn't see much past his tears and the hard rain that was coming down in sheets, but he kept driving, turning left and right and stepping harder on the gas peddle. He was only faintly aware that he was doing far over the speed limit. He reached the hospital in record time, parking quickly and running inside. He ran up to the front desk.

"What room is stiles stilinski in?!" He demanded.

"I'm sorry sir, but no one but family is allowed Into mr. Stilinski's room." The lady said calmly.

"You don't understand!" Derek yelled, frustration and fear spilling into his voice, "I need to see him and tell him I'm sorry for leaving and, and-"

"He's with me." He hears a voice say. He turned and saw Melissa, reaching out and grabbing his hand pulling him down the hallway.

"Melissa I-"

"Derek, I'm furious with you, so is john and stiles is pretty upset too. But right now he needs you. He needs to be held and we all need each other. You can explain later."

Derek nodded, and whipped at his cheeks before they stopped in front of a room. "He's in there, and he's awake. He still doesn't remember last night." Melissa said, opening the door for him.

He walked in the room, a pang of guilt spread through his chest as he seen the hurt look and both the sheriffs and stiles face. John got up and pulled Derek in a hug, "you own me and explanation." He said softly before squeezing his sons hand and walking out of the room, leaving stiles and Derek alone.

Stiles stared at him for a moment or two, trying to piece things together, "so you're derek huh?" He asked, crossing his arms. Derek nodded, sitting down in the chair next to the bed, "so why'd you'd  leave? If you loved me like you said you did in the letter, why'd you leave?"

"I'm so sorry stiles. I just-" he sighed, "I was scared. I was scared that when you woke up you wouldn't remember me and what we were and what we have and I didn't know how i was going to handle it. So I did the only thing I knew how to do and I ran. I ran from a problem that only got worse and I'm sorry. I'm a whimp but you love me and I'm just so scared." He said, taking the boys hand in his.

"You didn't have to leave." Stiles whispered after moment or two of silence, "maybe if you stayed I would of remembered a bit more. But you didn't have to leave."

Derek's heart broke at the way the boys voice broke, hearing how hurt he was, "Stiles, I'm so sorry. I wish I could go back. I promise, I won't leave you again. I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?" Stiles asked softly, looking up at Derek with sad eyes.

"Promise."

~~~~

And Derek kept his promise. For the next couple weeks stiles stayed at Derek's loft, Melissa coming in to check on him regularly. He was still hooked up to a heart monitor, just like he was at the hospital. Derek didn't leave his side. He tried to make the best of the time stiles had left.

They shared sweet kisses over the weeks, murmuring how much they loved each other. When stiles lost his memory again, Derek told him their whole story over and over again, begging him to remember. Eventually he did, only to wake up the next morning and forget it all.

At the end of the few weeks that passes, stiles had accepted that he was nearly gone. He barely recognized his own father, didn't recognize himself as a child when he looked through his baby books. So had Derek. It had hurt to even think it, but when stiles held his hands one night and said the words that Derek would never forget

"Der.." Stiles sighed, wiping away a tear that had escaped out of Derek's eye before taking his hands and squeezing them gently, "I know it's hard. I know you had plans for us, I know you were looking forward to have a future together, having a family. I was too. I still want that, but I don't have time. We don't have time. But that doesn't mean that you can't."

The younger man had tears in his eyes too, "you can still adopt, or fall in love again. You still do all those things. You have lots of time to find someone else, it might take a while but you have time. I _want_ you to adopt, I _want_ you to get married. And I want that because that's what you wanted _us_ to do. I can't do that, but you can!" He wiped away a tear, his voice getting hoarse, "promise me that you'll do that. Promise me Derek."

Derek stared into his boyfriend's eyes, "I will. I will get married...and I will have a kid. But not because I've moved on. I could never move on from you." Stiles went to speak but Derek cut him off, "stiles..." He took out a blue velvet box from him pocket, "I want to spend the rest of your life, being married to you. I was to be your husband at least once before you go. Will you marry me?"

Tears started to pour down stiles cheeks, "of course I do Derek, of course I want you to marry me. Of course I want to be your husband but we don't have the time."

Derek shook his head, "you're wrong stiles. We can do it right now! I can call someone that has a marriage licence, we can do it right here right now. We can invite your dad and Melissa and Scott and have our own little ceremony right, here. All you have to do is say the word."

Stiles took the older mans head in his hands and kissed him hard, "yes. Yes Derek, please. Let's get married." He cried in between kisses.

And within a half an hour, they were getting married.

Derek stood in the middle of stiles' bedroom, holding his fiancé in his arms like he was holding a bride. As their friend that was wedding them spoke, they stared into each other's eyes and thought back to all the good and bad moments in their relationship. Tears filled their eyes again as they said the two words that would bind them together for the rest of stiles life.

"You may kiss your husband."

Their lips locked together and tears slid down their faces. Together, they shared the most passionate kiss they've ever had. It felt like it had been hours but what must of only been seconds they broke apart, only to kiss again and again until their lips were kissed bruised.

That night, they were laying in bed together.

"Okay, so we're married. But that still leaves out having a family." Stiles said, "I still want you to do that, with or without me."

Derek smiled lightly, grabbing his laptop and opening it to a picture of a little boy with honey brown eyes and light, soft looking brown hair. His nose a little more up pointed than usual and his face had little moles all over it.

“He....He looks like me...” Stiles gasped, brushing his fingers over the picture lightly.

“I always imagined that our little boy would look like you. With your mole and your eyes. Your everything. He’ll be mine in a few months..” Derek trailed off.

after you're gone.

The unspoken words rang between them, “Derek.” Stiles choked out, “I don’t want to leave you..” He said, burying his face in his husbands neck.

“I know stiles..Me neither..” He kissed his head gently, “I’m gonna miss you so much.”

Despite how much neither one of them wanted it to happen, Stiles left the very next day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mfg I'm so sorry, i was writing it and i was like crying. One last small chapter left!!


	5. Papa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a shitty ending

It took Derek a long time to get over stiles. But zach, his adopted son,  helped. In a way, it was kind of like having another stiles with him. And it made things a little easier, having a piece of Stiles with him.

Zach was 3 when Derek adopted him, he’s 6 now and the anniversary of Stiles’ death never gets any easier for any of them.

It gets worse when Zach asks why his daddy his crying, and who is the other man in the picture hes holding. he wants to be strong in front of the small boy, but his wall crumbles around him and the only thing that keeps him going is what Stiles said to him before he left.

“Promise me you won’t leave him. I know you Derek, and I know that you tend to run when things get hard. Promise me you won’t do that with Zach.”

And Derek had promised. He wasn't running, so Derek decided it was time.

“Zach.” He called wiping his tears away quickly before turning around and facing the small boy, “Get your shoes and coat on, we’re going for a walk.”

They got dressed and Derek held his hand for the majority of the way, until Zach wanted to play in the puddles. After all, the sheriff had given him Stiles’ old yellow rain boots. They walked to the flower shop first, buying a dozen white and pink lilies.

“Where are we going daddy?” Zach asked for what seemed like the millionth time.

“I want you to meet someone.” Derek had said simply, leading the small boy down the path that led to the graveyard.

They walked through the yard, careful not to step on any graves. But suddenly the boy gasped and ran to the nearest grave, “Muma, Dada!” He exclaimed, running his small, soft fingers over the pictures on the graves.

“Zach?” Derek asked when he heard small sniffles, “What’s wrong bud?” He knelt beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Mommy...” The boy cried, hugging the gravestone tightly, “Miss you mommy..”

Derek rubbed zachs back for a few minutes before quietly asking, “Do you want to leave some flowers for them?”

Zach nodded, making grabby fingers for his new dad. Derek set 6 of the flowers down on top of the grave before picking up his son and continueing on the journey.

They walked for a few more minutes in silence before Derek stopped, setting Zach down in front of a different grave.

_Genim (Stiles) Stilinski_

_April 8th 1994 - November 3rd 2014_

_Loving Husband, son, friend and father._

“Who’s this daddy?” Zach asked curiously.

“This,” Derek said softly, “Would have been your other dad.” When zach looked up at him, wearing his confused look, derek smiled softly and began to explain. He explained how sometimes, daddies love other daddies like some daddies love mommies., “I loved Stiles, but he got sick. We always wanted to have a family..so he told me to adopt you. Even though he's not here, he’s your other daddy.”

“But _daadddd_ , if there was two daddies, that'd be too confusing!” Zach giggled, “Can I call him papa instead?”

Derek smiled, ruffling the little boys hair, “You sure can buddy.”

And so every year on November 3rd, Derek and Zach go to the graveyard to visit Papa. Years later, it still hurts to be without him. But Derek knows that papa is watching over them with a smile on his face. And sometimes, if he listens hard enough he can still hear his laugh and his voice, repeating the last thing Stiles said to him.

_I love you, Derek._

And Derek smiles, and whispers up to the sky, “I love you too, Stiles.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I can't write endings. I hope you enjoyed the story! I'll be back soon with another one...hopefully.

**Author's Note:**

> So? How was that? Yes? no? maybe so? comments are greatly appreciated, more coming soon.


End file.
